| you. |
[Sep. 20th, 2011|06:27 am] |
you made me smile.
you filled that void i used to push away.
and with you, i need no one else.
but youre oblivious to these.
oblivious to the tears i shed every night.
due to fear of losing you.
you might just take my sanity away with you.
so im keeping myself at a distance.
ill not have you nor will i lose you.
and these you'll never know and that
im much more of a fool for you.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2011|02:21 am] |
5 days of staying away.
staying up every night with great company.
sleeping only three hours in the day.
and the cycle repeats.
i needed that whole lot of distraction.
and those did me good.
endless monopoly games.
massive sheesha sessions.
loads of bbq food
and the best company.
it may sound juvenile,
but it was like tasting bits of freedom.
and im glad i dont need them.
them unsignificant bullshits. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2011|03:10 pm] |
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2011|12:44 pm] |
and after so much,
i thought life would give me a break.
but no, i thought wrong.
things are becoming a hell lot more crazy.
i really do not know what else to do.
it sucks when people would do things out of their way just to crush you down.
just to bring you deeper than ever, that you'll never thought you'll come back up again.
and it was really heartbreaking that you never knew that it could be them.
those that you actually bothered thinking about.
those that you actually cared.
and they never did the same for you.
for so long, i felt like a girl, so helpless.
i was so much stronger than this. |
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| blackhole. |
[Mar. 20th, 2011|08:12 am] |
i was left, not being able to sleep.
thoughts were running wild.
reflection on how life has been awaits.
it has been really crazy.
money&love can make one go insane.
having a stash of cash and not knowing how you spent it.
having too much love one moment and all gone the moment after.
suffer a really huge load of despair just after feeling a tad happy.
i fell into a shithole and i was screwed.
life was crazy and that pretty much sums it up.
i was missing my simple life.
when nothing else matters.
no cash no shit.
just me and my mundane life, yet i felt contented as hell.
guess i have to be careful with what i wish.
cause now its taking a toll.
so i guess i have a purpose and objective for this holidays.
to gain back that life.
that self who doesnt greed for too much shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2011|02:25 am] |
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i think i need to do some straightening out with myself. |
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| Life without Facebook. |
[Mar. 6th, 2011|11:43 pm] |
And so, I've done the impossible or so many have thought.
I've deactivated my Facebook account.
I've always been on it almost 24 hours 7 days a week. Not logging in for more than half an hour would make me fidget restlessly.
So how did Facebook actually play a big role in my life?
To be honest, i have no idea.
It has been about 7 to 8 hours or so. And I would say it has changed my lifestyle since, even so a bit.
Knowing that I don't have an active Facebook account, I do not have to worry about what could be posted to my wall or even anyone poking me.
I do not have to keep updating myself with others' status posts, bother myself looking up photo feeds of gorgeous looking people who will only end up making me feel inferior. I do not have to keep updating my status every other minute, so I have a tad more privacy. And weirdly, I actually spent more time with my family instead of locking myself up in my room keeping myself occupied with Mr Facebook.
But there must be a reason for me to have this sudden urge to actually have a time off with this phenomenon we call, Facebook.
And it happens to be due to this mess that I have got myself into. Falling into a shithole with three others whom I have affection for. And Facebook had been playing an important role in trapping me into this mess. I would look up their profiles every other moment to see what they could possibly be up to, how they are feeling, or even anything else. And seeing how I have a positive effect on their lives carve smiles on my lips. But I guess I was just being selfish keeping them all to myself though I was really oblivious to the fact. I just loved the company, them themselves and how they made me smile and happy throughout the times i knew them.
But I know, me being able to be happy for this much will soon take a toll. Now, everything goes crumbling down.
My love, my company, my sanity left me.
And I'm left void and empty.
Which left me doing this. Hopefully, Facebook making an absence in my everyday life will do me good. It has to.
Or I might just lose myself. |
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